


Meeting Mother

by FairyNiamh



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Community: trope_bingo, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Not Beta Read, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24614869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: Jim gets to meet his lover's  mother.  He was warned.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	Meeting Mother

**Author's Note:**

> Based Momma McCoy off of a family member. The south really is different.

“Are you sure your mother is alright with this, Bones? I mean with you being with me,” Jim asked while fidgeting in his seat.

“Are you calling my mother a homophobic bigot?” Leonard asked while arching his eyebrow.

“NO! No, it’s just… You were married to a woman after all and have a child…” he trailed off.

“Sounds more like you’re asking if I’m fine with this. Damn it, Jim, just how many times do I have to tell you that I want you? I do not understand how someone who has as big of an ego as you, can be so insecure in this damned relationship,” Bones huffed while gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“Sorry, it’s… it’s just that I have never had anyone that wanted me to meet their parents. Hide from their mother or father? Yeah, more times than I care to remember. Actually, want me to meet them? HA! They didn’t want their mother to know that they were bedding the town/campus slut,” Jim said softly while fidgeting with his hands.

“Hell kid, I’m sorry, okay. I do want you to meet my mother; and more importantly, she wants to meet you. If you hadn’t agreed to come with me on this trip, I was prepared to use a hypo to knock you out and drag you here,” he confessed while relaxing a bit.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the blond asked with a nervous chuckle.

He shuddered and gripped the steering wheel tight. “It means that my mother scares me more than flying out in the depths of space and if she wants to meet you, she gets to meet you.”

“You’re willing to break the law and kidnap someone… because you, grumpy pants McCoy, are afraid of your mother?” he laughed at his boyfriend.

“Damn skipping. She has enough blackmail material on me to get me to stand naked on the street corner if she told me to… not that she ever would, the Church Ladies would drag me through town, tied behind to a horse. Just… just trust me, Jim. My mom really does want to meet you and I think you two will get along really well,” the cranky doctor replied while reaching over and patting Jim’s leg.

“If you say so,” Jim muttered, before crossing his arms across his chest and watching the green trees and pastures as they went past them. He needed more than a few minutes to gather his courage and get ready for meeting the woman who could make him happy or send him into a spiraling black pit of hell in the next few days.

Leonard was thankful for the silence. True, he had told his mom about Jim and she had asked him to ‘bring the new love interest round’, but that didn’t mean that they would get along, let alone like one another. They both had the ‘love em or hate em’ personality. There was in between with the people that he loves… or has loved. He had a thing for difficult people. He only hoped that since he loved them both dearly; that they would love or at least like each other, for his sake.

~*~{>i<}~*~DammitI’mapagebreak,notabutterfly~*~{>i<}~*~

“We’re here Jim,” Bones whispered as he gently shook the blond awake.

“Where’s here?” Jim mumbled with a frown while rubbing his eyes.

“My mom’s place,” Bones started. He sighed and shook his head when Jim just sat there squinting at him, locking adorably confused. “Remember, you came with me to meet my mother over spring break?”

“Oh yeah,” the blond exhaled with a huge yawn. “Sorry, Bones, I totally forgot.”

“How in the… you know what? Never mind. Just get your ass out of the car; while I get the luggage,” McCoy grumbled while getting out of the hovercraft.

“Just let me get my bags, Bones. You go on ahead and greet your mother,” Jim muttered while stretching as he exited the craft.

“And have my mom tan my hide for letting company do all the work? No, thank you," the manic looking doctor exclaimed.

“I’m not company, Bones; I’m your boyfriend,” Jim laughed while reaching for one of his bags.

“Shit… yeah, that makes it worse. Don’t you touch that damned bag. I’ll get it. You… you just follow along behind me,” Leonard told the man while slapping Jim’s hand.

“Bones, I’m not some helpless maiden. I can get my own bags,” he huffed while grabbing his bags and rolling his eyes.

“Damn it, Jim, put that down this instant. I do not want to face my mother…” he started before an all too familiar voice interrupted him.

“Hello, Mrs. McCoy,” Jim greeted the irritated looking woman in front of him. He was glad he had asked to see an image of her before they had arrived. Though he could easily tell the familial lines when he saw an all too familiar scowl on her aged face.

“Please, call me Eleanor. Leonard, is there a reason why your guest is carrying his own luggage?” she asked with her eyes narrowed angrily at her son.

“Eleanor, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” Jim said nervously while setting down his bags and then reaching his hand out to shake hers.

Eleanor took Jim’s hand and pulled in into a hug saying; “Now, I’ll have none of that posh city stuff here. I want a hug from my future son-in-law.”

“MOM! We are just dating – which is a far cry from being engaged,” Bones rushed to say.

“Oh, what Poppycock. A mother knows these things and I see you two living a long and happy life together. That is, if you will be a proper gentleman, son, and not burden your future husband with chores like _carrying his luggage,_ ” she growled out while pointedly looking at the luggage that Jim was in the process of reaching down to get.

“I don’t mind,” Jim said weakly. He wasn’t quite sure how to handle this situation. Bones had explained that the South was extremely different than what he was used to, but not this different. 

“However, I do mind. I did not raise my son to be a heathen child. Leonard…” she chastised him.

“I’ve got the bags, Jim. Why don’t you walk Mom back to the house?” Bones asked and silently begged Jim to just do as he asked.

"Okay, Ms… Eleanor, might I escort you back to your home?" he asked and offered her his arm.

"No, but I will escort _you_ to _my_ home," she snapped and took his arm and swiftly dragged him into the old-fashioned farmhouse. 

Bones shook his head as he watched his mother kidnap his boyfriend. He hoped that she would not overwhelm the man. He toted the luggage to their room and was pleased to see that his twin bed had been replaced by a king-sized bed. Which meant his mom would not put Jim in a separate room. He refused to put away Jim's clothes and instead went to find him, hoping that his mom hadn't scared or scarred him too badly.

Leonard was shocked to find the pair laughing at an aged holo-pad. His stomach dropped when he heard his dad's voice scolding him for shooting the neighborhood snoop with an empty hypodermic needle. His mom laughed at the commotion, insisting that Karen deserved it for calling him a vampire. Obviously, he needed blood and she was just _so sweet_ and of course a child vampire needed sweets too. 

"He still loves wielding a hypo. I am often running from him," Jim laughed. 

"I wouldn't need that if you would remember to keep breathing," he grumbled as he stood in the door. 

His mother wasn't laughing, she was looking at the clueless blond in abject horror. 

"Jim here has a ton of allergies and there is always trying to find something new that will try to kill him. I always have an epi hypo on me, just in case," he clarified. 

Her eyes widened even more, clearly understanding… "You mean that the allergies list you sent me wasn't a joke?"

Jim saved him from explaining, "Oh, I have a lot of allergies. I blame a stressful birth and my unfortunate time on Tarsus IV."

Bones, of course, knew about his birth, but surely Jim was surely exaggerating about being on that hellhole or was there before the genocide.

"Did you forget about me being exempt from the class while they were discussing Kodos?" Jim asked with confusion clearly expressed on his face. 

"I thought that you were just skipping," he said weakly. 

"Nope, I was studying the Vulcan treaty and what I would have done differently," he stated sincerely. 

The older man fell silent and his mother looked uncomfortable. The younger man just shrugged. He would never 'get over it', but he refused to let that maniac dictate his life. "So, how naughty was Bones as a child?"

"Bones?" Eleanor questions. 

"An awful nickname he gave me," the good doctor exclaimed weakly. 

"When we met, he was bemoaning about space and only having his bones left after his harpy of an ex-wife finalized the divorce," Jim explained with a chuckle. 

"I never called her a harpy," he defended his words.

The older woman gave a disdainful sniff, "It's a lot nicer than what I would call her. Do you know that she won't let me see my granddaughter? She insisted that I only wanted to see her to kidnap her."

"She's just being overprotective, " he sighed the lame excuse. 

Eleanor simply shook her head and let it go. The harpy had finally relented and allowed her baby boy to visit her. Though she suspected that Jim was instrumental in her boy's visit. "Well bless her heart. She's as protective of my granddaughter, as a fox is protective of the hens, he's been tasked to keep safe." Okay, now she'll let it be.

"Mother!" he yelped, slightly aghast… but more in agreement with her.

"Did I show you the picture of when Leonard was potty training? He was a handful at that point," she whispered loudly as she flipped to the image in question. 

"Mother... why didn't you at least put a diaper on me?" a blushing Bones asked while trying to hide behind his hands.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Leo. You were born naked and up until you got your little willie caught in the fridge door, you refused to wear undies or diapers. Besides... you had a diaper rash... and you are just so damned cute naked!" she declared proudly. 

"Kill me now... please, just kill me now," Bones pleaded.

"Oh, come on Bones, don't be such a drama queen. I agree with your mother... you have the cutest little ass, this side of the Mississippi," Jim said while doing his best not to laugh at his lover's plight.

"I hate you," Bones hissed.

"Now, none of that young man! I raised you with better manners than that. You apologize to Jim right this moment or I will make you go and get me a birch switch to tan your hide with!" his mother chastised him. 

"Sorry, Jim," Bones muttered swiftly, while trying to get his eye to stop twitching. There was no winning against his mother.

"Really... just what on Earth is Starfleet teaching you young 'uns? Clearly not manners. Now Leo you be a doll and go fetch the lemonade while I grab the next video. You'll like this one Jim. My Little Leo is being so cute going around being proud of his first gay friend."

"I remember him. How is William these days?" he asked while getting up to do his mother's bidding.

"Oh, he's just lovely. He's married to a nice mechanic and they are in the process of adopting their first child. Speaking of children... I'm not getting any younger. When are you and Jimmy planning on giving me another grandchild? I love little Joanna to death... but I want another child around to spoil," she asked while putting in said video card.

"I want kids, Mrs. McCoy... but I think we should get out of the Academy and perhaps get married before we think of kids," Jim replied diplomatically.

"Well, of course, I am just happy to hear that you want a family with my little Leo and how many times must I remind you to call me Eleanor or just plain ol' Mom."

"Mom stop grill..." Bones paused and looked on in horror as he saw images of his younger self running through the Autumn leaves, thankfully clothed this time, screaming at the top of his lungs 'That he loved HIS Willie and HIS Willie loved boys.'

"Oh... My... Willie, Bones?" he chuckled.

"Shut up, Jim! That was William's nickname... and I swear I thought I had gotten rid of this video!" Bones said while putting the tray of refreshments down and rushing to the player.

"You touch my recordings again, boy and I really will bend you over my knee and tan that hide. You may be an adult, but you are never too old for a spankin’," Eleanor growled while glaring at her son with narrowed eyes.

"But Mom..." he whined. 

"Don't you 'But Mom' me young man. I have very few things left to remind me that you were once a CUTE and INNOCENT little boy instead of this jaded menace you have become. So, if you hurt my precious memories, I will hurt your precious ass so much you will not be able to sit for a week; even after you use a dermal regenerator!" She warned menacingly. 

Jim sat there wide eyed watching the war of wills play out before him. Perhaps his body was sensitive to the tension, because just as it was about to break, he let out a sneeze that was loud enough to startle the two combatants. "Sorry," he said meekly while covering his nose.

"No, I apologize to you, Jim. I get a little... tense when anyone messes with my home movies. What with David dead and Little Leo off in Starfleet... well... they are my only true company and they keep me from being lonely," Eleanor said with a sad smile

"You know... I think... I think you need to get out of the house more often. Go online, meet new people and then get out there and visit them. You aren't that old and I think you need something to do besides waiting for this lump to call you," Jim said with an excited smile. He had begun to love Eleanor and hated to see her sad for any reason.

"Well, I was offered a position teaching botany," she admitted. 

"That sounds grand. I mean, your garden is beautiful, so any school would be lucky to have you!" Jim happily chimed.

"You really think so?" she asked with a spark of hope in her eyes.

"We really think so, Ma," Leonard replied while bending down and kissing his mother's forehead. He was glad to see Jim getting along so well with his mother.

"Well then, it's settled. I will call Mr. Pike tomorrow; and tell him that I agree to teach botany at the academy. Oh, this is so exciting! I can't wait to tell Martha! I love you boys!" she said while getting up and kissing them both before heading to the comm unit.

"Bones, did she just say Pike?" Jim asked while nervously chuckling.

"Fuck my life. Now we will never get a break from her. I swear if she shows these videos at the academy I _WILL_ kill you Jim. Love will not protect you from my wrath," Bones said while repeatedly hitting his head on the table.

"There, there, dear. Just think in one year we graduate and will head into space while she stays here," Jim said while beaming at his lover.

"Fuck my life... just... fuck it," Bones moaned at the state of his life. 

"Would rather..." Jim whispered under his breath. 

"Finish that with my mom in the next room and you will never be able to get it up again," Bones declared, while glaring at his lover.

"Anything you say dear... anything you say," the younger man chuckled. 

~Fin~


End file.
